TELL the SECRET 

Dating, Domestic and Family Violence

EDUCATION, AWARENESS & PREVENTION

#TELLtheSECRET is an domestic, dating and family violence  education, awareness and prevention program designed to help victims and survivors to escape the confines of secret keeping linked to violence. Through  education, training and resources, it is our hope victims and survivors are lead to healing, restoration and freedom from abuse. #TELLtheSECRET provides participants with online campaigns, educational workshops and individual resources and referrals.

1Corinthians 13:4-8

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

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Education, Awareness & Prevention

Help is an Open Door to Positive Change!

SAFETY ALERT: Computer use can be easily monitored and information is very difficult to completely delete from a computer. If you are afraid that your e-mail, internet or computer use might be monitored, please use a computer that cannot be monitored and/or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
24-Hour National Domestic Violence Hotline
TDD 1-800-787-3224
www.ndvh.org

Definitions of Various Types of Violence

Domestic Violence is violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner.

Family Violence is when one family or household member physically harms or emotionally abuses another family or household member. A victim of family violence may be a spouse or a partner (both men and women). Family members, such as children, who witness family violence are also considered victims.

Family Violence can take different forms such as:

  • Physical abuse (for example, hitting or using a weapon).

  • Sexual abuse (including rape or any unwanted sexual contact).

  • Emotional abuse (such as threats or humiliation).

  • Financial abuse (such as controlling a person’s money without their permission).

  • Spiritual Abuse (using scripture and/or religious doctrine to control, manipulate and carry out violent or emotionally abusive acts.)

Teen Dating Violence is an act of violence done by a person who is in a romantic or intimate relationship with the victim. Dating violence can also take many forms, such as emotional and verbal abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse.

If you are experience family violence, teen dating violence or domestic violence and you desire to leave your abusive environment contact one or more of the following resources below:

 

Centers that Provide Temporary Shelter and Support Services (Shelter)

City Shelter Hotline

Abilene Noah Project, Inc.

800-444-3551

Alpine Family Crisis Center of the Big Bend, Inc.

800-834-0654

Amarillo Family Support Services of Amarillo, Inc.

806-374-5433

Angleton Women's Center of Brazoria County, Inc.

800-243-5788

Austin SAFE Alliance

512-267-7233

Bastrop Family Crisis Center

888-311-7755

Bay City The Crisis Center

800-451-9235

Beaumont Family Services of Southeast Texas, Inc.

800-621-8882

Boerne Kendall County Women’s Shelter

800-495-8078

Borger Hutchinson County Crisis Center, Inc.

806-273-2313

Brownsville Friendship of Women, Inc.

956-544-7412

Brownwood The ARK

888-313-2699

Bryan Twin City Mission

979-775-5355

Carrizo Springs Winter garden Women's Shelter, Inc.

800-363-9441

Cleburne Johnson County Family Crisis Center

800-848-3206

Corpus Christi Women's Shelter of South Texas

800-580-4878

Dallas The Family Place

214-941-1991

Dallas Mosaic Family Services

214-823-4434

Dallas The Salvation Army – Carr P. Collins Social Service Center

214-424-7208

Decatur Wise Hope Shelter & Crisis Center

940-626-4855

Denton Denton County Friends of the Family, Inc.

800-572-4031

Dumas Safe Place, Inc.

806-935-2828

El Paso Center Against Family Violence, Inc.

915-593-7300

Fort Worth Safe Haven of Tarrant County

877-701-7233

Galveston Resource & Crisis Center of Galveston County, Inc.

888-919-7233

Garland Hope's Door New Beginning Center, Inc.

972-276-0057

Granbury Mission Granbury, Inc.

817-579-6848

Grand Prairie Brighter Tomorrows, Inc.

972-262-8383

Greenville Women in Need, Inc.

903-454-4357

Harlingen Family Crisis Center, Inc.

956-423-9304

Hempstead Focusing Families

979-826-0000

Hondo Southwest Family Life Centers, Inc.

830-426-5131

Houston Houston Area Women's Center, Inc.

713-528-2121

Humble Family Time Crisis and Counseling Center

281-446-2615

Huntsville SAAFE House

936-291-3369

Jacksonville Crisis Center of Anderson & Cherokee Counties, Inc.

800-232-8519

Kerrville Hill Country CARES, Inc.

830-257-2400

Killeen Families in Crisis, Inc.

254-634-8309

Laredo Casa de Misericordia

800-782-2722

Longview Women's Center of East Texas, Inc.

800-441-5555

Lubbock Women's Protective Services of Lubbock, Inc.

806-747-6491

Lufkin Janelle Grum Family Crisis Center of East Texas

800-828-7233

Marble Falls Highland Lakes Family Crisis Center

830-693-5600

McAllen Women Together Foundation, Inc.

800-580-4879

Midland Safe Place of the Permian Basin, Inc.

432-570-1465

Mineral Wells Hope, Inc.

940-325-1306

Mt. Pleasant SAFE-T Agency (Shelter Agencies for Families in East Texas)

903-575-9999

New Braunfels Crisis Center of Comal County

830-620-4357

Odessa The Crisis Center

800-627-4747

Pampa Tralee Crisis Center for Women, Inc.

800-658-2796

Pasadena The Bridge Over Troubled Waters, Inc.

713-473-2801

Perryton Panhandle Crisis Center, Inc.

800-753-5308

Plainview Crisis Center of the Plains

806-293-7273

Plano Hope's Door New Beginning Center, Inc.

972-276-0057

Plano Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation

972-880-4192

Richmond Fort Bend County Women's Center

281-342-4357

Round Rock Hope Alliance

800-460-7233

San AngeloI CD Bridges, Inc.

800-749-8631

San Antonio Family Violence Prevention Services, Inc.

210-733-8810

San Marcos Hays-Caldwell Women's Center

800-700-4292

Seguin Guadalupe Valley Family Violence Shelter, Inc.

800-834-2033

Sherman Grayson Crisis Center

800-893-5615

Snyder Gateway Family Services

325-578-8054

Texarkana Domestic Violence Prevention, Inc.

903-793-4357

The Woodlands Montgomery County Women's Center

936-441-7273

Tyler East Texas Crisis Center, Inc.

800-595-5591

Victoria Mid-Coast Family Services, Inc.

800-870-0368

Waco Family Abuse Center, Inc.

800-283-8401

Weatherford Freedom House

817-596-8922

Webster Bay Area Turning Point, Inc.

281-286-2525

Wichita Falls First Step, Inc.

800-658-2683

Centers with Support Services Only (Non-Residential Centers)

City Shelter Hotline

Austin Asian Family Support Services of Austin.

877-281-8371

Bonham Fannin County Family Crisis Center

877-583-2855

Eastland County Crisis Center, Inc.

254-629-3223

Gainesville Abigail’s Arms – Cooke County Family Crisis Center

877-846-4751

Houston Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse

713-224-9911

Houston Montrose Counseling Center, Inc.

713-529-3211

Houston Northwest Assistance Ministries

281-885-4673

Pleasanton Atascosa Family Crisis Center, Inc.

877-569-2001

Stephenville Cross Timbers Family Services

866-934-4357

Resources: https://hhs.texas.gov/services/safety/family-violence-program

 

Disclaimer: All information provided is for educational purposes only. If you or someone you know is

experiencing anything described above contact a medical professional, resources below or emergency assistance in your area if applicable. 

Cycle of Violence

The More You Know, the More You Grow!

Tension Building

Using tactics such as: intimidation, making threats, yelling, getting easily agitated over minor incidents, acting disrespectful or making you feel inferior, talking you into things you typically would not do, criticizing you and your actions or interest.

Violence 

Using violent words or actions towards you in any way Making you fearful,  Hitting, punching, slapping, jerking, or making any unwanted physical gestures towards you.

Seduction

Also called the honeymoon phase. Apologizing for violent or angry actions, and having excuses for the behavior such as: stress, jealousy, using or abusing alcohol and/or drugs, caring for you too much, or blaming others. Often gifts are offered or promises are made to never act in this way again. Abusers also threaten, either openly or covertly, their partners into giving them another chance. For example, an abuser may say I am so sorry. I need a chance to show you I will change If I don't get that chance, I don't know what I am capable of doing. 

Love

Caring for the abuser and holding on to the good things about him/her and the good things about the relationship.

Hope

Hanging onto the promises and apologies given, and trying to give the benefit of the doubt that things will improve.

Fear

Listening and believing the threats given by the abuser towards you or others or even believing the insults or criticism that the abuser provide. It is important to take threats seriously, as abusers often act on their threats causing harm or even death to the victim Therefore, seeking safety and assistance is strongly recommended. 

Are you experiencing the cycle of violence and need help creating a plan to leave the abuse? Click the button below to get your safety plan. 

Power &

Control

Love Doesn't Hurt

Power and Control are two elements present to create domestic violence and/or dating violence in a relationship. Power is exerted to convince the victim of abuse to succumb to the will of the abuser. Control is applied to ensure the victim of abuser adheres to will of the abusers wants, desires and perceived needs.

 

Power and Control can manifest in the following areas :

  1. Physical

  2. Mental

  3. Emotional

  4. Spiritual

  5. Financial

  6. Verbal

  7. Social

  8. Children

  9. Sex

  10. Intellectual

  11. Pets & Property

  12. Culture

Children & Domestic Violence

30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household. Source: Edelson, J.L. (1999).

 

“The Overlap Between Child Maltreatment and Woman Battering.” Violence Against Women. 5:134-154.

The single best predictor of children becoming either perpetrators or victims of domestic violence later in life is whether or not they grow up in a home where there is domestic violence.

 

Studies from various countries support the findings that rates of abuse are higher among women whose husbands were abused as children or who saw their mothers being abused. 

 

Source: “Behind Closed Doors: The Impact of Domestic Violence on Children.” UNICEF, Child Protection Section and The Body Shop International (2006).

 

Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults. Source: Strauss, Gelles, and Smith, “Physical Violence in American Families: Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence” in 8,145 Families. Transaction Publishers (1990).

Males exposed to domestic violence as children are more likely to engage in domestic violence as adults, and females are more likely to be victims as adults. Source: Whitfield, C., Anda, R., Dube, S., and Felitti, V. (2003).

“Violent childhood experiences and the risk of intimate partner violence as adults.” Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 18(12).

To learn more about power and control in domestic and dating violence relationships, click  below. 

Are you experiencing the power and control in your relationship and need help creating a plan to leave the abuse? Click the button below to get your safety plan. 

Dating Violence

Dating Bill of Rights

1. I have the right to refuse a date without feeling guilty.

2. I can ask for a date without feeling rejected or inadequate if the answer is no.

3. I have control of my decisions and actions, and know that my rights end where another's rights begin.

4. I have the responsibility to make positive and healthy decisions for myself, and others

5. If I don't want physical closeness, I have the right to say so.

6. I have the right to start a relationship slowly, to say, I want to know you better before I become involved.

7.  I have the right to be myself without changing to suit others.

8.  I have the right to change a relationship when my feelings change. I can say, We used to be close, but I want something else now. 

9.  If I am told a relationship is changing, I have the right not to blame or change myself to keep it going.

10.  I have the right not to dominate or to be dominated.

11.  I have the right to act one way with one person and a different way with someone else.

12.  I have the right to live my life free of fear from violence and abuse. 

13. I am responsible for my decision making.

14. I am capable of ending or beginning a relationship without shame or guilt.

Are you experiencing dating violence and need help creating a plan to leave the abuse? Click the button below to get your safety plan. 

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Office: (469)772-0255 |

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